How Quickly the Year's Pass...

Thank you very much Guys...salamat sa inyo kayo ang inspirasyon ko at idol kot gagayahin ko paglaki ko lolz.

Andro http://genkuro.blogspot.com/

Rheynz http://reynaelena.com/

CaT http://cathcath.com/

BlogusVox http://blogusvox.blogspot.com/

ReezenToT http://reezentot.blogspot.com/

ManongMon http://pmonchet.blogspot.com/

BlueP http://bluepanjeet.net/

Blogsurdities http://ordinaryreportage.blogspot.com/

(at sa ibang naliligaw at nagagawi dito, sa blog ko kunu, oo wala nakong nakalimutan pasalamatan e kayo lang naman nagtityaga magbasa ng posts ko e )

How quicky the year pass, imagine ilang tulog nalang at 2009 na.

Just 2mos ago when I start blogging (blogging daw hahaha,sus sige na pumayag na kayo) and here I am addicted posting those funny jokes (alam ko mga copy and paste lang yan, pero yung iba pinaghirapan kong hanapan ng pictures at nagtype type din naman ako hahaha echos).

I did this becoz Iwas bored, (palusot)

I want to learn english, (totoo yan)

I want to explore, (hmm totoo din yan)

I want to learn more, (moooooore)

I want to read more blogs from intellectual people etc etc and just to put something to my idle blogsite.

I envy those people who have the talent of writing, good ideas what to write, kasi naman when heaven spread intelligence and brains Im sleeping with matching hilik and when I woke up nothing left for me, sayang naman.

I decided to post some old jokes from my old forwarded mails, from joke sites etc etc basta lang wag idle yung site and I didnt expect na someone will read my posts kasi nga mga old jokes na.

But now Im very happy to see that more and more people bothered (asus naligaw lang sila) to read my posts, oo naman dati '0' view then '2' then '6' e ngayon atleast 15 na per day at may nagko-comment na atleast 1 or 2 per post mukha lang marami kasi sinasagot ko yung comment nila Hahahahahahahaha.Thank you po uli.

Annnnnnd I already have 5 followers (huhuhu sana di sila mauntog at lumayas, sana palagi lang silang nandyan kahit dina sila nagbabasa) Thank you po uli sa inyo.

I wish all the luck and happines for you guys, nagbabasa man kayo o hindi ng posts ko sana we all have prosperous new Year at sana may matanaw na tayong liwanag this coming year sa ating mahal na bayang sinilangan kasi I dont have a plan naman to stay outside of our beloved kawntri for life and I want to go home soon (matanda na ko noh lapit na magretire hahahaha)

God Bless you all and laugh more, have fun, life is too short para mamrublema tayo ng husto, the more we laugh, the more we scare to death wrinkles to come near to us lolz,

Happy New Year.....cheers!

Those cute kids...

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becomes a stunning chicks...

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Aaaaah, uhum eto na sila ngayon bilis talaga ng panahon diba.... ?


HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Prison vs Work...

When you think about the differences between work and prison, maybe prison isn't so bad...


IN PRISON: You spend the majority if your time in an 8x10 cell.
IN WORK: You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.

IN PRISON: You get 3 meals a day.
IN WORK: You get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON: You get time off for good behaviour.
IN WORK: You get reward for good behavior with more work.

IN PRISON: A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
IN WORK: You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON: You can watch TV ang play games.
IN WORK: You get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON: You get your own toilet.
IN WORK: You have to share.

IN PRISON: They allowed your family and friends to visit.
IN WORK: You cannot even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON: All expenses are payed by taxpayers with no work required.
IN WORK: You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON: You spend most of your life looking through bars from inside wanting to get out.
IN WORK: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON: There are wardens who are ofted sadistic.
IN WORK: They are called Supervisors.

IN PRISON: You have unlimited time to read jokes.
IN WORK: You get fired if you get caught.

Fans and their Emotions, top 7 awards...

How Intense can it be, caught below are the top 7 fans with funny emotions...


At 7th place, baket...bakheeeeeet!



At Sixth Place, anu kaya nakita neto?



At Fifth Place, frustrated ang mokong.



At Fourth Place, Basilio... Crispin...!



Bronze Medal goes to... tinamaan ba???



Silver medal goes to... Waaaaaaaa!



The Gold goes to... Acheche..!

Winter Fun...

Miss Hunter, the church organist, was in her seventies and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Hunter," he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.

The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent the spread of disease. And you know . . ... I haven't had a cold all winter."

Here's hoping you have a healthy winter!!

Wrong Send...again!

A new business was opening and one's of the owners friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card... "Rest in Peace."



The owner was angry and called the florist to complain about the mistake. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied,

"Sir, Im really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying... Congratulations on your new location!"

Cherry Mistmas...extended!

Best Christmas Cookies Ever, Pwamis try it!






1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla


Sample the Cuervo to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit,
Pick the frigging fruit off floor.. Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it lloose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.
Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl out, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.




CHERRY MISTMAS
I just Luuuurve Cose Juervo, Cheers... Hiks!

Mayor Nasser Pangandaman Jr.

Careful when you go play Golf...
becos this is now da peborit game
op the politisyan wid guns&goons.







The Son...



The Father...






See this Pls... The World has gone Crazy!
http://vicissitude-decidido.blogspot.com/2008/12/world-is-fucked-up.html

Wife...oh wife...

Cleptomaniac wife...

kleptomaniac woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket and had to appear in court, taking along her long-suffering husband for marital support.
The prosecution proved that the theft had taken place so the judge told her that, considering her record, he was forced to impose a jail term.

"This time you stole a can of tomatoes. There were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?"

The woman agreed.

"Then I sentence you to six nights in jail."

The husband jumped to his feet, addressing the judge, "Your honor, may I approach the bench?"

"Well," said his honor, "this is somewhat unusual but I will make an exception in this case. You may approach the bench."

The husband wasted no time getting there and, leaning forward, he said in a low voice, "She also stole a can of peas."

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Mean wife...

A sixteen-year-old boy drove into the driveway with a new Porsche. His parents gave him the once over.

"Where did you get that car?!"
He calmly replied, "I bought it."

With what? We know what a Porsche costs."

With my allowance," said the boy, "this one only cost me twenty bucks."Twenty dollars?

Who would sell you a car like that for twenty dollars?
That lady up the street,said the boy.I don't know her name, but she saw me ride by on my bike and she asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for twenty dollars."
Something's wrong here. I'm going to go right up there and see about this,said his father.

But when the dad got there, he found the lady calmly planting petunias in her front yard!
"Did you sell a car to my son?"
"Yes, I did," she replied. "For how much?" Twenty dollars." You did? Really? Why?"......

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was away on a business trip, but last night I learned from a friend that he ran off to Hawaii with his secretary and didn't intend to come back. He told me that he was stranded, needed money right away and I should sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did!"

Generation Y...

People born between 1925 and 1945....Are called...

The Silent Generation

People born between 1946 and 1964...Are called....
The Baby Boomers

People born between 1965 and 1982...Are called....
New Generation people

People born after 1983....Are called....
Generation Y

BUT......... Y

Why do we call the last group of people...Generation Y ?
I had no idea until I saw this caricaturist's explanation! A picture is worth a thousand words!
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Toilet Humor...

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.

"And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

----

MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?
MAN: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.

The next day, the man returns.
MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Well... where is he?
MAN: He's at home!
CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.

The next day the man returns.
CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack?
MAN: Put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm... It's warm and moist! What is it?
MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper.

Kwentong Sapatos...(no offense po)

After ng "The Shoe Throwing", ayan tuloy nagkaroon ng Phobia si Prez Bush kaya naman...





Hinigpitan tuloy ang security...






Pero may nakapag tip na may nagbabantang muling panganib...ang suicide shoe bomber...






Kaya naman bigla nagpatawag ng press para tumawag ng emergency meeting... ngeeek naka padlock ang paa







Ang mga inimbitang Press...aba naniniguro lang ang security noh...


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Ganito rin kaya ang maging eksena sa "Babay Party" ni Prez Bush?

Maligayang Pasko sa inyong lahat...

Wishing you all a Merry Xmas and a Happy new Year!








Merry Christmas!

Last request...

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did, " said the wife.

"I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."

Wrong send...

A man who was just married was flying to the Florida Keys for a business trip.
His new bride was to accompany him the next day.
When he got there he E-mailed his wife to let her know he made it there safely.
When he sent the E-mail he miss-typed the address.
In Boston, a grieving widow, whose husband has recently passed away, receives the E-mail.
She reads it, screams, and faints.
Hearing her grandmother’s cry, the widow's 18-year-old granddaughter runs into the living room to see the computer on with a message. It reads:

Dear love,

Just got here. Preparing for your arrival tomorrow. Can't wait to see you.

Love,
Me.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Drunk Man...

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river.

He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, Preacher, I sure am."

The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.
"Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.
"Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"
"Noooo, I have not, Reverend."

The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher...
"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

Age Test...

"It's that time of year to take your Annual Senior Citizen test."
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What
do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water",
proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a
blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house
is made from pink bricks and a black house is made
from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these???
If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at
20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall,
Germany at the time was politically divided into
West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that
the last remaining engine is also failing, decides
on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the
engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack-dab in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . "Where
would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West
Germany, or no man's land"?

Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop NOW! If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a
bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales... In
London , 17 people get on the bus; In Reading , six
people get off the bus and nine people get on... In
Swindon, two people get off and four get on... In
Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on...
In Swansea, three people get off and five people get
on... In Carmathen, six people get off and three get
on... You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the
name of the bus driver?

Answer: "Oh, for crying out loud!"
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!


PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions

Husband and Wife (A Mobile...A Train...)

Pls try again later.

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site.
After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.

Women!!

She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure. People from he neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was.
The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.
Junior said "The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present.

Please Try Again Later

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Waiting for a Train...

A man had to attend a large convention in Chicago.

On this particular trip he decided to bring his wife.
When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said:

"You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour."
The wife lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed.

Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more.

Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager.

The manager says he'll be right up.

The manager (naturally) is sceptical but the wife insists the story is true. "Look,... lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!"
So he lies down next to the wife... Just then the husband walks in.

"What," he says, "are you doing here?"
The manager replies:

"Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"

VIP...?

One day Bill Clinton is riding in his Limousine and he said to the driver,

"You know, I used to love driving very much when I was young, and I haven't done it for a long time.
Why don't you let me drive for once."

The driver thinks to him self, "Well I can't say no to this guy, he's the president."

So the driver pulls over and they change places.

Bill was having fun, zooming down the freeway, dodging and overtaking cars.

After a while the driver taps on the window and tells Bill,

"Mr President, slow down a bit.

You're doing over a hundred and fifty miles an hour."

Bill says, "ahhh, don't worry about it, I'm the President."

So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast.

After a few moments he gets pulled over.

The cop walks to the car and Bill rolls down the tinted window and says:

"Do you know who I am?".....

The cop sees the President and says, "oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"

Bill says, "sure" The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station.

He says, "guys I just pulled over some one very important, and I need advice on how to handle this." They ask who, "The mayor?"


"No, much more important."

"The governor?" "more important."

"The President?" "No, even more important."

"Well, who can be more important than the President?"

"I don't know, but Bill Clinton is his chauffeur."

MARRIAGE..Marriage..marriage...

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.


At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."


Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.


Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.


A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying"


Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.


Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."


Married life is frustrating. The first year of marriage, the man speaks And the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.


After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."


It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.


A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."


When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.


God says to Adam, "What would you like in a wife?" "Hmmm," says Adam, "I'd like her to be the most beautiful creature in the world. I'd like her to do whatever I tell her to. I'd like he to work hard, be smart, enjoy being with me." "Hmmmm", God says, "I can do it, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg." "Oh," says Adam, "Well what can I get for a rib?"

Sa mga Fwends...Commercial muna.

O sya sya, dun sa mga fwends na gusto malaman aside for making babad here sa blogspot anu anu pang libangan ko (naiisip nyo ba kung anu pang trabaho nagagawa ko sa dami ng libangan hahaha) eto makipanood na rin kayo, tagal ko ng nanonood ng live telecast ng kapuso pero libre naman heto kundi nyo pa alam ang site na toh ...

http://www.hayag.com/w/mytvko

Theres a deleyed/recorded telecast sa bottom ng live screen incase ma late kayo ng panonood nung inaabangan nyong show.

Yup, thats free of charge say thank you lang dun sa moderator solve solve na, atleast malaki ang naitutulong sa mga outside the kawntri.

Naitry nyo ba yung site nung video-oke sa PC? kung dipa paki balikan nalang dun nakapost sa old posts ko po.

Merry Xmas in Advance, enjoy your weekend mga fwends!

Jokes...(yellow green jokes)

Team Sex..

A young man in his late 20's goes into a bar, sits down and starts to have a beer. An attractive woman sits down beside him and starts flirting with him.
After a few more beers, she asks him to come home with her.
He notices that she is quite a bit older than him, so he comes out and asks her age.
She replies, "I'm 54."
He thinks to himself, Wow 54, that's kind of old, but oh well, there's not many other woman in here tonight and she is attractive.
So he goes home with her.
As they walk in the door, she says,

"How do you feel about team sex?"
The young man said,
"What do you mean?"
"You know, like mother daughter" she replied.

At this point, the man is thinking he's hit the jackpot.
This woman has a lovely young daughter that he's about to get lucky with.
He wholeheartedly agrees.
The woman yells up the stairs.......

"Mom, you still awake???"


Q: What are three, 2 - letter words that mean small...
A: "is it in"..?


Dentist Appointment..

One night a couple was lying in bed.

The husband was feeling frisky so he rolled over
and tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm.

The wife turns over and says

"I'm sorry honey, but I have a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

Rejected, the husband turns over and tries to sleep.
A few minutes later he rolls over and whispers in her ear

"Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"

Mother Inlaw...

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work,
"I have great news for you.
Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.

He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said,
"I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning,
my mother moves in with us."

---

The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house.
The cat they had thrown into the yard scoots back into the house.
They don't want the cat shut in the house because "he" always tries to eat the bird..
The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat.
The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.
The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty.
She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon.
"He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long," he says.
"Stupid b**** was hiding under the bed.
Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!
Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.
But it worked. I hauled her fat *** downstairs and threw her into the backyard!!"

The driver was shocked and the wife was speechless!