Friday, May 15, 2009

What's for Dinner...?

Cant eat pork,
Swine Flu.


Cant eat chicken,
Bird Flu.


Cant eat beef,
Mad Cow.

Cant eat egg,


Cant eat fish,
Heavy metal poison in their waters.


Cant eat fruits and veggies,
Insecticides and herbicides.




I believe that leaves Chocolate and ice cream!!!!!!!!
Remember - - - 'STRESSED'
spelled backwards! is



710... errrr...OIL

A woman came in a Garage and asked for a seven-hundred- ten.
All looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred- ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one.. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is..........


Women ?

The mechanic fainted!!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Pinoy New Bloggers, ang aming mga manok...

Influential Blogger by Janette Toral: Join the Top 10 Emerging Influential Blogs for 2009 Writing Project

Anu daw? diko alam kung qualified akong magsubmit ng vote una sa lahat di naman ako sinabihan ni ms.janette hahaha pangalawa di ako sikat-chupoy at wala akong credentials, wala akong matinong blog, pero meron ako ng....jaraaaan makapal na mukha kaya Go kami dyan syempre pa Go ang atribidang Lee... here na ang mga Pinoy na bagets na bloggers, salamat sa link kamahalang rheyna Elena ( )
Nakakabilib ang mga kabataan sa panahong ito puro sila mga isip matatanda na, hala nabisita ko na sila lahat at talagang nakakabilib silang lahat at masasabi kong mga intellectual na mga bagets na susunod sa yapak nila Rheyna at Cat, most of them talagang binabasa ko regularly at madadagdagan pa ang aking susubaybayan.

May mga gusto sana akong isama kaso mga ti-gulang na sila, mga bagets lang daw eh sowee mga ka forgets, bagets na muna ang bida...

eto ang mga bagets na manok (pero di sila mga utak manok) na ninakaw ko sa kulungan ng kamahalang reyna elena...

Dare to speak out!
Dear Bloggery
It’s Johnonymous!
The Struggling Blogger
Desert Fishing
Sa labas nang Mandaluyong
Brother Utoy
Extra Super Special Batchoy with Egg

hala vote nyo na rin sila, pagkatapos katayin natin yung mananalo, lol!

Lawyer Jokes & Others...

Pardon the paragraph arrangement, i just copied them from a lawyer.

Can You Beat This Logic?

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the Children into this world, she should retain Custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children. The judge asked for his side of the story too.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from the chair and replied:........
"Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine, and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"

Don't laugh, but the man won.


A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Ms. Jones, do you know me?
"She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Ms. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem.
The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him." Thedefense attorney was also surprised and shocked.
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace,
"If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt".


The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins:
1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew
they were guilty.
2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high.
3) Overcharging fees to many clients.
4) Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a controversial case. And the list goes on for quite awhile.

The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He admits all these things, but argues, "Wait, I've done some charity in my life also. "St. Peter looks in his book and says, "Yes, I see. Once you gave a dime to a panhandler and once you gave an extra nickel to the shoeshine boy, correct?"

The lawyer gets a smug look on his face and replies, "Yes."

St. Peter turns to the angel next to him and says, "Give this guy 15 cents
and tell him to go to hell."


A change in medical research regulations was introduced.
From now on, medical researchers have to use lawyers instead of lab rats, and they should do so for three reasons. First, lawyers are more numerous than lab rats; second, they don't become attached to lawyers the way they do to rats; and thirdly, there are some things that even a lab rat wouldn't do.


A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand
dollars more for the story behind it." "You can keep the story, old man," he
replies, "but I'll take the rat." The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm.
As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout.
He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty
leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can have it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner. "No," says the tourist, "but I was wondering if you have any bronze lawyers!"


One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there.
"NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same.
Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling.
"MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed. "Your a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but what does this have to do
with my car?!?!" the lawyer asked. "HA! Your lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said. The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed "MY ROLEX!"


A Physician, an Engineer, and a Lawyer were discussing their professions.
They were trying to determne which profession had been around the longest.
The Doctor said "Doctors were first. In the good book, it states that Eve was created from one of Adam's ribs.....That required the first surgery.
So Doctors were here first." The Engineer said, "NOPE, it also said, before Adam and Eve, that God created the heavens and the earth. That required a lot of plans and engineering work, so Engineers were here first." The Lawyer said, "SORRY GUYS, lawyers were here before all that. If you read a little closer, it says that in the beginning there was confusion."


A doctor, a priest, and a lawyer are adrift on a raft in the south Pacific. They're just about out of water, food, and hope, when they spot a small island. Only problem is, between the raft and the island is a large hungry school of tiger sharks. The doctor insists, "I'll swim for the island and bring back coconuts and maybe even help. If the sharks attack me, with my medical knowledge I'll be able to tend to my wounds." The priest says, "No, no my son, I shall swim for the island. I will pray as soon as I hit the water and with my connections I'm sure to make it."
While the doctor and priest are arguing over who is to go, the lawyer dives into the water and swims toward the island. Miraculously, the
sharks move away and clear a path for the attorney. A little while later, the barrister retruns to the raft with a lovely bunch of coconuts. And again the sharks clear a path for him. He finally gets to the raft and the bewildered doctor and priest ask him what was the source of this
miracle, and he replied, "Professional courtesy, of course!"


A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+2?"
The housewife replies: "Four!". The accountant says: "I think it's either
3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice,
"How much do you want it to be?"


Two smart, attractive, well-educated young law graduates, Sally and Edith, were competing for a prestigious job. As part of the job interview each was asked why she wanted the job. Edith answered that she wanted to work for a firm with a reputation of being concerned with truth and justice.
When it was her turn, Sally simply opened her purse, took out a rather thin wallet and laid it on the senior partner's desk. "I want to fatten it up as fast as possible," she said. Sally got the job.


On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him.
St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked.
"Let me go find out." and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months... and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven,
what with the eternal aspect of it all.
"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?"
St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled.
"Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."
"Great," said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?", asked the frightened couple. "COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?"


After their car broke down on a lonely country road, three men sought a night's shelter at a farmhouse. The farmer, poor but eager to help them, said that he only had two beds so one of the three would have to sleep in the barn. Immediately, one of the travelers, a polite Hindu mathematician, agreed and left for the barn. A short while later he returned and apologetically explained that there were cows in the barn and for religious reasons he could not sleep there. Another of the guests, a conservative rabbi, volunteered, picked up his bedding and left for the barn. It wasn't long before he returned complaining that the pig in the barn made it impossible for him to sleep there. The last of the stranded trio, a lawyer, sighed and grudgingly picked up his bag and shuffled off to the barn. Soon, there was another knock at the door. When the farmer answered it, there were the cows and the pig.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Strange & Funny Architectures...

1. The Crooked House ( Sopot , Poland )

2. Forest Spiral - Hundertwasser Building ( Darmstadt , Germany )

3. The Torre Galatea Figueres ( Spain )

4. Ferdinand Cheval Palace a.k.a Ideal Palace ( France )

5. The Basket Building ( Ohio , United States )

6. Kansas City Public Library ( Missouri , United States )

7. Wonderworks ( Orlando , Florida , United States )

8. Habitat 67 ( Montreal , Canada )

9. Cubic Houses ( Rotterdam , Netherlands )

10. Hang Nga Guesthou se a.k..a Crazy House ( Vietnam )

11. The Ufo House ( Sanjhih , Taiwan )

12. Nakagin Capsule Tower ( Tokyo , Japan )

13. Erwin Wurm: House Attack ( Viena , Austria )

14. Wooden Gagster House ( Archangelsk , Russia )

15. Ripley's Building ( Ontario , Canada )

Happy Mother's Day...

To All the MOTHERS Around The WORLD....


click to comment

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother."

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)


Kid call's 911 for Math

Listen to this...

Monday, May 4, 2009

Short Jokes...

The Terror-ist cat

A 70 yr old man asks his wife "do u feel sad when u see me running
behind young girls?"
Wife replied "No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive
it "


A young Chinese girl going on her 1st date. Her mother warned her&."1st
he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your breasts, you'll enjoy; then
he want to go on top. You must not allow it so as not to disgrace our
family name"
Next day girl told Mom, "Everything happen exactly as you predicted. I
didn't allow him to go on top so I went on top and disgraced his family"


A white couple had a black baby&.
The husband doesn't believe that it's his baby.
Husband: Why the baby black?
Wife: U hot, I hot, baby burnt..!


Wife: "Honey, what are you looking for?'
Husband: "Nothing.
Wife: "Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an
Husband:" I was looking for the expiry date!"


Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white?
Mom: Listen Son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you
should be thankful that you are not barking!!!