Thursday, December 4, 2008

A Letter from a Groom

True story, I was happy.

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses.

She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate.

She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived.

She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."

I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
I opened the door and stepped out of the house.
I walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside.
With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said,

"We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family."

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

7 comments:

cathcy said...

una hindi ko nagetz. kala ko talagang matigas siya. hehehe

pmonchet said...

Ayos hehehe.Yung kaibigan ko sa wallet nakalagay.Malamang bagsak yun.

Twilight Zone said...

@cathy, kala ko nga rin tigasin eh lol.
@pmon, haha kala ko nasa bulsa lang.

fatherlyours said...

cathy - oo nga, pero may kasabihan na walang matatag na lalaki sa hubad ba babae.hehehe

Twilight Zone said...

agree po ako sa sinabi nyo fatherly hehe

Genkuro said...

Share ko lang sa iyo.
Di ko kasi alam e-mail mo so dito ko na lang padaanin... baka trip mo lang i-post...

Andro
==================================

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and
Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4..1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program .These are unsupported applications and will crashHusband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend

Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

Twilight Zone said...

hahaha oo nga e meron din ako nyan naunahan mo na ko hahaha yaan mo post ko yan next, thanx ha.