Happy New Year.....cheers!
"It's that time of year to take your Annual Senior Citizen test."
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What
do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water",
proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a
blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house
is made from pink bricks and a black house is made
from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these???
If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at
20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall,
Germany at the time was politically divided into
West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that
the last remaining engine is also failing, decides
on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the
engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack-dab in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . "Where
would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West
Germany, or no man's land"?
Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop NOW! If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a
bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales... In
London , 17 people get on the bus; In Reading , six
people get off the bus and nine people get on... In
Swindon, two people get off and four get on... In
Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on...
In Swansea, three people get off and five people get
on... In Carmathen, six people get off and three get
on... You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the
name of the bus driver?
Answer: "Oh, for crying out loud!"
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions
Pls try again later.
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site.
After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure. People from he neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was.
The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.
Junior said "The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present.
Please Try Again Later
Waiting for a Train...
A man had to attend a large convention in Chicago.
On this particular trip he decided to bring his wife.
When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said:
"You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour."
The wife lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed.
Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more.
Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager.
The manager says he'll be right up.
The manager (naturally) is sceptical but the wife insists the story is true. "Look,... lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!"
So he lies down next to the wife... Just then the husband walks in.
"What," he says, "are you doing here?"
The manager replies:
"Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"