Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Husband and Wife...again...!

Carving cartoon Pictures, Images and Photos

Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up.

The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.

They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to thing by saying boldly...

"After our second child, I"ll just have a vasectomy."

Without the moment's hesitation, the bride said, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own".


My wife asked me to buy an organic vegetable from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any.

So I grabbed an old tired looking employee and said "These vegetables are for my wife, have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"

The old guy looked at me and said, "No, you'll have to do it yourself."


During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approched the Pastor with an unusual offer:

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where Im to promise to love, honor and obey and forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever, I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out."

He passed the Pastor $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged.

When the time comes for the groom's vow's, the Pastor looks at the young man in the eyes and says:

"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes", then leaned toward the Pastor and hissed:

"I thought we had a deal?"

The Pastor put a $100 bill in to the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."


Andro said...

1st Joke : Wahaha! It's the same as saying to a husband there will be sex here at home every night at 8:30PM sharp. With or without you.

2nd Joke : Wee. The old grocer was obviously doing that for his wife.

3rd Joke : Never underestimate the bargaining power of women. And if you don't intend to keep a promise, never give one.

Twilight Zone said...

@Andro, grabe ka ang galing mo talaga hahahaha

Reezen TOT said...

hehehe I like the diet thing and yung sa six again! lol

hope you are doing well lee! =)

Twilight Zone said...

ahay naku Rheeze ala ako nag Go ako ng Shanghai maghapon nagpatawag ng meeting ang akong Boss-sabos ng walang kasing boooooring na meeting hahaha back to life na uli ako lolz