Monday, January 12, 2009

Yellow Green Jokes...


There once was a man who decided he hated his life in the city, and that he was going to live in a nudist colony instead.

As he was a respected man, he decided it would be best for him to just say he was moving to New York. After a few months of naked bliss, he got a letter from his mother saying, "Dear son, as I have no recent photos of you, can you please send me the most recent one you have? Love, Mum."

Well, the man didn't have any photos of himself that didn't show him naked, so he decided to chop one in half and send just the top half. A few weeks later, he got a letter from his mum saying,

"Thanks for the photo, and could you send another to your grandma?" And so he did, BUT...he made a mistake and sent her the wrong half. The man got really upset but then remembered his Gran's poor eyesight, and he decided it would be okay.

Two weeks later, he gets a letter back from his Gran saying: "Dear Jerry, I think your photo is great. But you really should change your hairstyle, as it makes your nose look too big."


Mother's worst nightmare...
Mother taught her son to go to the bathroom by the numbers:

1. Open your fly.

2. Take out your equipment.

3. Pull back the skin.

4. Do your business.

5. Let the skin forward.

6. Stow your equipment.

7. Close your fly.

She did check on him often to see if he had learned the lesson, and heard 1,2,3,4,5,6,7.

She was very happy until one day she checked and heard 3-5, 3-5, 3-5.


Andro said...

Joke 1 : Waaaah! This joke makes me think of my Shih-Tzu with the hair down. All you can see is the nose.

Joke 2 : Good Boy! But don't do it often.... you'll go blind! Hahahahaha!

Twilight Zone said...