A North Carolina Highway Department employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer..
"I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road.
" The old farmer said, "OK, but don't get out in that pasture over there.
" The Highway Dept. employee flashed out his identification card and said, "I have the authority of the State of North Carolina to go any where I want. See this card? I will go wherever I wish.
" So the old farmer went about his farm chores. It wasn't too much later that the farmer heard loud screams and yelling.
He looked over and saw the Highway Dept. employee running for his life and right behind was the farmer's huge prize bull.
The bull was madder than a hornet's nest and was gaining on the employee at every step. The old farmer yelled out..
"Show him your card"!!!
GOOD MEDICAL ADVICE:
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."
"Mrs. Sanders, please."
"Mrs. Sanders", this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's, Frankly the results are either bad or terrible.
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's.
''That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.
Well, what am I supposed to do now?
The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home,
"don't sleep with him".
BETWEEN THE LEGS OF MY WIFE:
John O ' Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here ' s to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here ' s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside my wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John ' s drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.
You know, he ' s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.
Naipadala ko na ang 50 thousand pan tuition mo, pinagbili nanamin yung kalabaw natin.
Ang mahal pala ng counterstrike na kurso! Walana rin pala tayo mga baboy, naipagbili na rin namin para dun sa sinasabi mong project, Nokia N75 ba yun?
Ang mahal naman ng project mo! Kasama din dun yung 7 thousand para sa field trip nyo sa Mall of Asia. Malayo ba yun, bakit ang mahal?
Isasanla pa namin yung palayan natin para mabili mo yung instrumento mong ipod. Napailaw nyo na ba yung pinagpupuyatan nyong sanmig lights? sana makagraduate ka.
Nanay & Tatay
(kainis noh? sarap dagukan kung anak mo buti nalang di totoo toh)