How to Hypnotize a man...?

http://vili.us/hypno.html

F---ing!

(photo credit to cecileeshull, from photobucket)



O eto para sa mga wala pang karansan sa F---ing!

Frequently Asked Question About F--ing

Q. Do I have to be married to have safe f---?
A. Although married people f--- often, there are many single
people who f--- complete strangers every day.

Q. How do I go about f---ing a complete stranger?
A. Just ask them if they want to f---. If they do, they will
give you their phone number.

Q. My parents say they never had f--- when they were young, and
were only allowed to write memo's to each other until they
were 21. How old do you think someone should be before they
can f---?
A. F---ing can be performed at any age once you learn the
correct procedure.

Q. If I f--- something to myself will I go blind?
A. Certainly not. As far as we can see.

Q. There is a place on our street where you can go and pay
to f---. Is this legal?
A. Yes, many people have no other outlet for their f--- drives
and must pay a "professional" when their needs become too great.

Q. Should a cover always be used for f---ing?
A. Unless you are really sure of the one you are f---ing, a
cover should always be used.

Q. What happens if I do the procedure incorrectly and f---
prematurely?
A. Don't panic. Many people f--- prematurely when they haven't
f---ed in a long time. Just start over, most people won't mind
if you try again.

Q. I have a personal and a business f---. Can transmissions
become mixed up?
A. Being bi-f---ual can be confusing, but so long as you use a
cover with each one you won't transmit anything you're not
supposed to.

Q. Is getting f---ed by one person the same as with another?
A. No. Even though many people (especially lawyers) would
like you to believe that the longer they are f---ing you the
better you will like it. In reality the best f--- is short,
of high quality, and very graphic.

Q. There is a man I'd very much like to f--- (I've tried
several times) but he can't seem to keep his equipment
up long enough.
Is there any thing I can do to help him?
A. You could suggest that he contact a good f--- therapist, such
as Canon or Mitsubishi. If he refuses to take the suggestion,
it would be best if you just wrote him off.

Syak ka no, mali ka don..... FAXING yon!

Great Muscle Control

IDIOT SIGHTING.

(photo credit to classyladytwo, from photobucket)

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..
We haven't used Sears repair since.




IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..
Do not confuse the clerks at McDonald's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!' I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman , KS .




IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'

Is Computer Male or Female...?

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.


'House ' for instance, is feminine: ' la Casa. '
'Pencil, ' however, is masculine: ' el lapiz. '


A student asked, ' What gender is ' computer ' ? '

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer ' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.


The Men ' s group decided that ' computer ' should definitely be of the feminine gender ( ' la computadora ' ), because:


(photo credit to saila279, from photobucket)



1... No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you
find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.




The Women ' s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ( ' el computador ' ), because:


(photo credit to smurby, from photobucket)



1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can ' t think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.


The women won.

Life Begin's at 40...!

(photo credit to jester121172, from photobucket)


THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR THOSE OVER
FORTY YEARS OLD

1. Focus on enjoying people, not on indulging in or accumulating material things.

2. Plan to spend whatever you have saved. You deserve to enjoy it and the few healthy years you have left. Travel if you can afford it. Don't leave anything for your children or loved ones to quarrel about. By leaving anything, you may even cause more trouble when you are gone.

3. Live in the here and now, not in the yesterdays and tomorrows. It is only today that you can handle. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not even happen.

4. Enjoy your grandchildren (if you are blessed with any) but don't be their full time baby sitter. You have no moral obligation to take care of them. Don't have any guilt about refusing to baby sit anyone's kids, including your own grandkids. Your parental obligation is to your children. After you have raised them into responsible adults, your duties of child-rearing and babysitting are finished. Let your children raise their own offsprings.

5. Accept physical weakness, sickness and other physical pains.. It is a part of the aging process. Enjoy whatever your health can allow.

6. Enjoy what you are and what you have right now. Stop working hard for what you do not have. If you do not have them, It's probably too late..

7. Just enjoy your life with your spouse, children, grandchildren and friends. People, who truly love you, love you for yourself, not for what you have. Anyone who loves you for what you have will just give you misery.

8. Forgive and accept forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others. Enjoy peace of mind and peace of soul.

9. Befriend death.. It's a natural part of the life cycle. Don't be afraid of it. Death is the beginning of a new and better life. So, prepare yourself not for death but for a new life with the Almighty.

10. Be at peace with your Creator. For. . . He is all you have after you leave this life....

TARZAN, bankrupt na rin...?

And who doesnt know TARZAN?
But that doesnt spare him from being bankrupt, like
Nicholas Cage, haay, kawawa naman.
We just heard, that hes also affected by the bad economy
and starts selling all hes properties, i doubt kung alam
yan ni Jane...asan na nga pala si Jane?



(tarzan photo credit to mikeymike42007 from photobucket)

Hala, you might be interested, here shown below all the pictures
ng mga haybols ni TARZAN, malay nyo, you might like some,
hurry up and start your bid....

PINOY EXPATS BLOG AWARDS

Patalastas po muna mga Pards....

(Please vote for #35 Flamindevil, paki sama na rin po itong #34 Topexpress #33 Bonistation.You could vote up to 10 bloggers at the same time.You could only vote once per IP address. Here’s the link: http://pinoyexpatsblogawards.com/ )


Magaling pong bata yang si Rye (#35 Flamindevil), kung nakita nyo po sa old post ko dito rin po, kasama din po sya sa mga manok namin sa "10 Influential Bloggers"

eto po ang kanyang entry, sana po masilip nyo...

http://flamindevil.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/this-time-i%E2%80%99ll-make-it-right/

di naman po sapilitan ito, pero ang di bumoto langgamin sana mouse ng computer nyahahaha just kidding, kayo naman.
di pa po late, pede pang bumoto.

PS

Pls dont forget also to vote our very own para naman maging CNNHero, si Efren Penaflorida po!
heres the link...below,salamat po ng napakarami!
http://heroes.cnn.com/confirmvote.aspx?id=06&lang=1

Wohooo, its BEACH time...

(WARNING: da ingglis of this blog is full of wrong grammar, read at your own risk, dont blame me later, just ask for bonamine after reading this)


YuP, winter is approaching,and i must tell that I hate hate hate winter....why?
Why? I need a lot of clothes with me atleast, my knee/bones starts fighting each other, and my nose bleeds.

YuP, not only using english language makes my nose bleeds, also winter.
So, I start making a plan where to go this coming winter holiday, atleast to a tropical country.

Last summer, I spent my winter holiday to Brazil, where I confidently show my figure (giggling), but this time I must get a more revealing bikini and sexier than last holiday.

I was sooo giggle last summer, Its really fun to know that everyone's attention was mine hihihi, everyone are excited to get a snap with me, I was so famous that time, and everyone stalked me.

Oh, by the way, let me share you my pictures last holiday....








hihihi, see? they are all excited.




damn! everyone follows me.




even this child cannot resist my byuti.




i was sooo feeling famous with this paparazzi's




haaay, twas really fun.




haaaay, life is good.




bye folks, i must go, have a date this
evening!

Is your laptop useful...?

(i have a feeling that this pictures was posted already long back, i just cannot check all my prev posts since the connection are toooooo sloooooooow, pls bare with me if the picture are being posted already,galing ko mag inggles no jejeje)



sushal ang nut cracker




masarap naman kaya ang lasa?




yan ang literal ng "natutulog lang sa trabaho"




o diba?dito sa china pam ping-pong lang namin yan...




at upuan habang naghihintay ng train.



pang hataw na rin ng lamok at langaw




ewan kung anung gusto nyang palabasin.




punching bag, tadyak bag, kungfu bag, dauche bag




sobrang adik nung anak sa games, galit si mommy.




taong grasa yan, homeless, nag ge-games lang.




pantakip hanang natutulog, dyaryo nung araw, ngayon laptop na




panglinis ng snow from wind shield,pede mo ding gawing dustpan.





gaya neto, birdhouse, tent ng mga ibon.



Ikaw, anung iba pang gamit ng laptop mo?