Mother Inlaw...

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work,
"I have great news for you.
Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.

He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said,
"I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning,
my mother moves in with us."

---

The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house.
The cat they had thrown into the yard scoots back into the house.
They don't want the cat shut in the house because "he" always tries to eat the bird..
The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat.
The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.
The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty.
She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon.
"He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long," he says.
"Stupid b**** was hiding under the bed.
Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!
Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.
But it worked. I hauled her fat *** downstairs and threw her into the backyard!!"

The driver was shocked and the wife was speechless!