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A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand Pounds, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
---
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
---
An elderly gentleman... had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
---
An elderly couple was attending church services,
about halfway through she leans over and says,
"I just had a silent fart what do you think I should do?"
He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used
to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called
the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal
test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a
better idea about her hearing loss.
"Here's what you do,"
said the Doctor, "stand about
40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational
speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet,
and s o on until you get a response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen
cooking dinner, and he was in the den.
He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away,
let's see what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks,
"Honey, what's for dinner?" No response.
So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen,
about 30 feet from his wife and repeats,
"Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where
he is about 20 feet from his wife
and asks, "Honey , what's for dinner?"
Again he gets no response
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's
for
dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her.
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
(you'll just love this!)
James, for the FIFTH time I've said, "CHICKEN!"
