Father and Son...

There was a Chinese father who was very close to his son. They used to go everywhere together including looking for "chicken" (Chinese slang for prostitute).

One day, the son decided to go overseas for study. The father was very supportive, and before his son left, the father told him, "We cannot look for chicken together for the next few years. However, if you need to look for chicken, please go ahead and I will pay for it."
But please state the expense as 'Shooting Bird' so that your mother will not suspect.

So the son left, and after a month, the father received the bill from the son.....(shooting bird - $500). Subsequently, and for the next few months, the bill for shooting bird is more than $1000.
Well, the father could not tolerate this, so he wrote to his son. "Son, you have been shooting too expensive bird, try some cheaper one."

A month later, the father received another bill from his son. On it he had written:

Shooting Bird - $50
Rifle Repair - $2,000

Divorce....NOT.

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before
Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have
to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five
years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father
says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about
this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister,

who explodes on the phone.
"Like hell they're getting divorced,"

she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father,

"You are NOT getting divorced.

Don't do a single thing until I get there.

I'm calling my brother back, and we'll
both be there tomorrow.

Until then, don't do a thing,

DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.

"Okay," he says, "they're coming for

Thanksgiving and paying their own way."