A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.
The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was,
"Yes, lollipop...but at the bar...you know...they
have frozen glasses."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
"You want a frozen glass, puppyface?"
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just
holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said,
"Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious.
I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?"
She opened the oven and took out
5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: Chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty
words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, cutie pie?...
"LISTEN UP, D***HEAD! DRINK YOUR F***ING BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHER-F***ING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED NOW, & YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, AS**OLE?"
...and, they lived happily ever after.
Hanep, Saan ba makakita ng ganyang asawa. Pagbilhan nga ng dalawa.
ReplyDeletehahaha gusto mo ng sakit ng ulo ha lol
ReplyDeleteFunny na rin.
ReplyDeletePero mas aliw yung Tagalog version nito...
Hehehehehe
may tagalog version pala neto?sa totoo lang puro luma tong mga jokes na to hinukay ko lang sa baul lolz
ReplyDeleteEto yung tagalog version for your reference... hehehe... Keep Posting.
ReplyDeleteDalawang linggo na ang nakalipas mula nang ikasal
sina Gino at Karen.
Kahit mahal na mahal ni Gino ang kanyang misis,
nasasabik din siyang makipag-inuman sa kanyang mga kumpare.
Isang gabi, nagpaalam si Gino kay Karen,
"Honey, aalis ako ha, babalik kaagad ako..."
"Sweetheart, saan ka pupunta?" tanong ni Karen.
"Sa bar, cutiepie, iinom lang ako ng beer." saad ni Gino.
"Gusto mo ng beer, love? Eto..." hirit ni Karen
sabay bukas ng refrigerator at ipinakita ang
25 na iba't ibang klase ng beer na puro imported.
Hindi malaman ni Gino kung ano ang gagawin.
Ang sabi na lang niya,
"Oo, cutiepie, pero doon sa bar... alam mo na... yung
malam! ig na glass..."
Hindi pa tapos magsalita si Gino, eh, buong
lambing na nagsalita na si Karen,
"Gusto mong malamig na glass, sweetheart? Eto..."
Binuksan ni Karen ang freezer at naglabas s'ya ng
isang malaki at malamig na glass, sobrang lamig at
nangangatog pa siya sa pagkakahawak.
Medyo namumutla na si Gino, na ang nasabi eh,
"Oo nga cutie pie, Pero sa bar ang daming masasarap na
pulutan... sandaling-sandali lang ako talaga. Babalik
kaagad ako, okey?"
"Gusto mo ng pulutan, sweetheart?" malambing pa ring
usisa ni Karen, na binuksan ang oven at naglabas ng
iba-ibang klase ng pulutan-sisig, chicken wings,
chicharong bulaklak, crispy pata, inihaw na bangus,
camaron rebosado, hotdog with onion, kaldereta
at iba pa.
"Pero cutie pie... sa bar... you know, merong konting biruan,
bolahan, murahan... you know..." alumpihit na sabi ni Gino.
Hindi na nakapagpigil si Karen,
"Gusto Mo Ng Murahan Sweetheart? ....
... TANGINA MO PALA EH!
HETO, INUMIN MO ITONG PUTANG INANG BEER MO
SA MALAMIG NA BWAKANAN NG INANG BASO NA ITO,
AT KAININ MO 'YANG PUKI NANG INANG PULUTAN NA
'YAN DAHIL HINDI KA LALABAS NG BAHAY!
ULOL!
'TANG INANG 'TO"
Andro
hahaha ok ah, thanx ha
ReplyDeletegusto ko pa rin yong english. hekhekhek
ReplyDeletebakit nga ba pag english at bad words e di gano masakit sa tenga at sa mata hahaha parang ok lang wala lang parang mas malayo ka sa away hahaha
ReplyDelete